Under Fire
by Liquid-Thalassa
Summary: Cruz-Fic. Part 2 added. :)
1. Part 1

Title: Under Fire

Author: Liquid Thalassa

E-mail: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com

Genre: Angst/General

Pairing: Cruz/ (Bosco?) 

Spoilers: "Surrender" and previous episodes. 

Author's Note: Here's another "one-shot" dealing with Sgt. Cruz and recent events. The text in italics are actual quotes from the episode "Surrender" (court scene), this fic deals with Cruz's thoughts during them. And according to my closed captioning Animal's defense attorney's name is Kaydar. 

_under__ fire__:_

_1.Exposed__ or subjected to enemy attack. _

_2.Exposed__ or subjected to critical attack or censure_

_(Dictionary.com.)___

**Here's the Fic:**

The witness seat was hard and slick with lacquer; she sat uncomfortably attempting to appear normal. She tried not to fidget. It was a sign of nervousness and Maritza Cruz didn't want them to know she was nervous. She certainly didn't want to give them that satisfaction. Not the bastard defense attorney and not The Animal. 

He walked up to her- defense attorney Kaydar. He reminded Cruz of a "John" she put away once. A cocky, unattractive jackass with erectile-dysfunction. A real looser, couldn't even get it up for a hooker let alone his wife. Only Kaydar wasn't a "John". He was something far worse; he could prove far more damning with his questions. 

_"- your younger sister, Leticia?"___

_"Lettie.__ Right."_

No one called her Leticia. No one. She was Lettie, always Lettie. This prick didn't have the right speaking her name. Maritza fought hard not to glare at him. She couldn't screw this up. She had to do this for her, she had to be strong. 

_"You were present at the scene. You witnessed her fatal injury?"_

_"I was there…" She paused. "She died in my arms."_

_"And you don't at all feel responsible for her death?"_

She sat there, her eyes stone cold hoping the scope of her emotions didn't leak out. Asshole, what right did he had asking that. Of course she felt responsible. Lettie was her younger sister and Cruz hadn't been able to save even her. Oh sure, she could save the lives of ungrateful strangers and helpless victims- it was her job anyhow- but she couldn't save her. Not Lettie. She looked down a moment, trying so hard to suppress the tidal wave or sorrow, guilt and anger washing through her. She looked up and saw Bosco, far in the back corner watching with a flat look. Though in his eyes she could see concern, he silently gave her strength. She looked to Kaydar, and said, no. 

_"Have you ever been brought up on department charges? G.O 15, civilian complaints?"_

Not only was he attacking the one thing she loved but he was attacking her honor as a police officer. She was a good cop, a damn good one. She got in and out, she got the job done. She wasn't always do now, ask questions later. No. That only happened after Lettie. Revenge is a vicious cycle, that isn't always so sweet. It was her fatal flaw, revenge. It was her salvation and her downfall. She looked at Bosco, and wished he would've known her before, seen her before she became what she was now- the She-bitch from Hell. But now wasn't a time for what it's and should haves. That could be mulled over later. 

_"All of the above."_

_"Eight years of service in fact and you've been reprimanded 5 times for insubordination…have you ever been accused of being careless, Sergeant?"_

Careless no. Hasty yes. Hotheaded sure. Bitchy, of course. Along with a sting of others…Cold. Curt. Efficient. Strong….but careless, no. She was never careless no matter what those assholes thought. 

_"No."_

Kaydar walked over to the defense's table and looked at some papers. _"I have some quotes from various superiors…Reckless. Risk taking…Are you reckless?"_

_"No."_

_"Do you believe in getting the bad guy no matter who gets in the way? No matter who gets hurt?" _

Of course she wanted to get the bad guy that was the whole purpose of being a police officer. It was what she did. And it depended who was in the way…a skell? Another Cop? Her sister? Everything wasn't back and white. Police work- like life- had shades of grey. She should know she lived in that undefined land far too long. And she did care who got hurt in the process, despite what others thought. But would she cry and wallow in the fact that in the process of getting a criminal, another Skell died? No. They chose to live that way. She didn't make that choice for them Bosco was still there, she didn't look up but she could feel him. After their time together she acquired a 6th sense with him. Something that has never happened before. 

_"No."_

_"Didn't you tell your sister to run into that house-"_

That was it. She was pissed. Bosco, from the distance could see the fire in her eyes. 

_"I would never tell my sister-"_

_"-So you could get a Gold Star, isn't that how you do your job?"_

Unwisely Cruz let her emotions get to her, her eyes dancing with anger, her worlds covered in bitchiness. _"The chances I take are on me. They're on mo one else!" _

Dios, she wanted to get out of there. Leave and never look back. 

_"So you don't give a damn if you get hurt?"_

Memories of her the night before flooded her mind. She still felt dirty, ashamed, weak. As if relieving the night she felt her breath weaken and her throat tighten, her heart began to pound. A wave of sheer panic and sickness overcame her. She was so lucky that at this time she could conceal it, but not for long she knew. 

_"I give a damn if I get hurt. I give a damn!" _

She had to get out of there. She had to leave that courtroom. She was suffocating, drowning. Walking out the large doors she spotted Bosco who must have slipped out and Monroe. She couldn't deal with them. Not now. She fixed on a distant stare and walked by. 

"Hey, Cruz." Monroe called. "How'd it go?" 

She walked on, fighting the urge to run. Tears started to spill down her eyes. She wiped them away quickly. She had to get out of here. She had to breathe. 

A/N: I'm not sure if I'm going to make another part or not. I wrote this right after the "surrender" episode and never got around to finishing it and stuff. But since I'm starting to work on "Shattered" I decided to finish this one too. Let me know what you think.  


	2. Part 2

Title: Under Fire

Author: Liquid Thalassa

E-mail: liquidthalassa@yahoo.com

Genre: Angst/General

Pairing: Cruz/ (Bosco?) 

Spoilers: "Surrender" and previous episodes. 

Author's Note: Ok, so I decided to write a second part to this fic. And this is where I stray form what happened on TV into my own Third Watch world :0)

Part 2:

It wasn't until she got outside, away from curious glances and the feeling of drowning that she was able to think relatively clearly.  She wiped her eyes noting the tinge of mascara staining on her hand and could only imagine what her face looked like. 

She looked around, feeling uncharacteristically lost and alone. _What's wrong with me_, she thought, then answered herself. _Everything_. Everything was wrong, nothing was right. Not anymore. She felt a warm salty tear run down her face once more and she angrily wiped it away. _I've lost it, totally, completely lost it. _

She took a deep breath and decided to walk, not knowing what to do or exactly where she was going. She came with Monroe but she didn't want to deal with her now. Not her eyes looking at her with pity or sugar coated words and false understanding. The truth was Monroe didn't understand her, no matter how much she said she did, she never could. 

No one could. _No scratch that_, she thought. There was only one person who seemed to have some understanding of her, some tangible grasp of the real Maritza. But he was lost to her, her one and only ally faded into oblivion. The thought made her want to cry some more. _I'm so pathetic, seriously, someone shoot me now. Put me outta my misery…_

Walking up the busy city streets she wondered on, the thought of getting back to the House briefly crossed her mind only to be swept away. _Screw them_, she thought bitterly, _screw them all_. The sound of a horn honking startled her. _Dios, can't those jackasses learn to drive?_ Only when she looked she saw Monroe creeping along. _Great.___

"Cruz?" She called, head sticking out of the window. "Come on, get in." 

She ignored her, keeping her face straight ahead. 

"Sergeant, come on. I'll drive you." 

_Obviously ignoring won't work, time for something else. _Cruz turned and looked at Monroe, eyes glaring with annoyance. "Look, I don't need you're help alright. So just leave me alone." She yelled over the loud traffic. 

"Look, Serge, I understand your upset-" Monroe began to say. 

"Understand?!" Cruz yelled, toughly annoyed. "No, you don't understand, officer. That's the problem! So, thanks but no thanks, I don't want to hear your bullshit." 

Monroe looked at her, hesitant. "Alright. If that's how you feel." 

_Damn, straight that's how I feel._ She remained silent. 

And with that Monroe entered traffic and left. Cruz resumed her walk, fighting the nightmares plaguing her mind. 

How long she walked, she didn't know. It was only when she entered the gates and walked the stone path that she knew where she was going, where she was unconsciously leading herself.She slumped to the ground, feeling the hard impact of earth on her knees and wetness of dew kissed grass. 

She touched the tombstone's cool surface, tracing each letter. L-E-T-I-C-I-A. _Lettie._ Bowing her head she sobbed. For Lettie, for the rape, for Bosco, for everything screw up in her life. _I'm so sorry_, she thought. _I'm sorry Lettie; I never meant to turn out like this. I never meant for it to be this way. _

She just stayed there, crying to her dead sister since there was no one she could cry to. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized it was partly her fault; that her solitude was brought on by her and her only. Afternoon gave way to evening, the air growing cooler, the sky darker. But she didn't want to leave. Deep down she wished that she too, were in a grave, that all this faded and everything worked out. 

In the distance she could make out the sound of a siren. She rose, feeling sick and achy. It was time to go, she knew. Walking tiredly she made her way through the path and past the gates. That's when she saw him. _Bosco._

Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of his bright blue eyes zeroing in on hers, just as he had done in the court room. He stood leaning against the RMP, arms crossed. She started to walk past him, thinking he was here for other reasons, like a call. 

"Maritza." He said. 

_Maritza_. Only he called her that. She turned knowing now he came for her, that the concern and worry in his eyes were for her. That the silent strength he gave was for her. She was grateful and perplexed. 

"How did you know I was here?" She asked curious. 

"Where else would you be? I think I know you by now." He said walking closer to her. "Come on, you've had a shitty day. Let me take you home." 

She relaxed at his proximity, the familiarity. He took her arm and moved her along. She got into the RMP and sighed. 

He got in and looked at her. "Here's a napkin, you look like a hooker." He smiled handing it out for her.

She stared at him, his cocky grin and couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks." She said sincerely. "I needed that." _In more ways than one.___

_Only, Bosco_, she thought still smiling. _Only, he would know…_

"Do you want to talk?" He looked at her and asked hesitantly. 

"You being here is enough." She replied quietly. 

He started the car and nodded. He understood, after all. "If you ever…you, know, need to talk…I'm here…despite everything that's happened between us." He told her, eyes serious. 

She smiled. "You too- you know. If you need to talk." She paused. "You know where to find me." 

"Yeah, I do. I found to tonight…"

"Yeah, you did." She smiled.

Bosco put the car in reverse and back out of there.  

*

A/N: So there's Part 2. In the future I may whip up another part, I'm not sure. Let me know what you think either way. Thanks. -LiquidThalassa


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